Sixteen: cracker

Courtesy of Harry Rose

Some companies insist on putting factoids inside their crackers instead of jokes, and mathematical puzzles like the ‘Magic Calculator’ instead of annually useless objects like a plastic moustache and a comb that would only Barbie would be able to utilise. Why they choose the intellectual option is beyond me – but luckily the crackers bought by my housemates for our pre-Christmas dinner struck a happy mid-point.


Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

No? Not laughing yet?

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because the angel had said, “No L!”

And a non-Christmas related one…

Why did the student decide to study in an aeroplane?

Because he wanted a higher education.

The hats were all red though. Festive, but not varied and sucks if red isn’t your colour. Bah humbug!