Semi-finalists: from Moldova to Russia

Credit: Eurovision 2012 Baku

Moldova

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Love this song far too much – just the right amount of EuroTrash. It reminds me of one of my favourite ever Eurovision entries from Lithuania which sadly didn’t make the 2010 finals, so I really hope the same fate doesn’t lie in wait for Pasha Parfeny. There’s instrumentals, there’s braces on the lead singer, there’s strobe lighting. What’s not to love?

Contagious rating: 5/5

I dare you not start tapping your foot/head/fingers.

 

Montenegro

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Lyrically dubious, yes.
Euro neuro don’t be sceptic
hermetic, pathetic, unalphabetic.
Forget all cosmetic, you need new poetic
Esthetic, ecletic, dialectic.”

Although it might sound like Niko Bellic attempting to sing, it’s hard not to appreciate the sentiment. In rap, no less. Also, there’s a donkey in the video.

Contagious rating: 4/5

Should make the final, probably won’t

 

The Netherlands

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Absolutely love Joan’s headdress. She looks like Pocohontas mixed with Cher. I reckon that the Netherlands have definitely felt themselves at one with Florence and the Machine at some point. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with the whole Red Indian theme, but this song was so inoffensive that it didn’t matter. Although perhaps there was one tambourine too many. Tambourine OD. I think this is very much along the lines of 2010’s winner, Lena , but with a more folk vibe. (Thank goodness.)

Contagious rating: 2/5

Wish a real video had been made for this track – hopefully they’ll have figured out how to make the back up quartet do something a bit more exciting on the night.

 

Norway

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Tooji is a great name for a performing artist. And this guy really does carry it off with style. I feel like he’ll be a Eurovision heartthrob (he’s got a pinky ring, for heaven’s sake), even if his vocal talent is…lacking. If it all goes down the drain, he might have a career as an Ollie Locke/Enrique  look-a-like in his future.

Contagious rating: 2/5

Anyone’s guess what will happen to Tooji and his tooji.

 

Portugal

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Portugal seem to have the worst case of lacking originality imaginable. Anyone feeling a sense of Eurovision déjà vu? Another one to make tea in. Unless you like ballroom dancing and Il Divo, in which case you won’t be disappointed. The worst part of this is that I can feel that middle-aged women (aka. the prime voting demographic) would actually enjoy this. Yikes.

Contagious rating: 0/5

Shouldn’t make it past the semis.

 

Romania

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You can usually count on Romania to submit a good bit of Euro-trash. But this is a far more successful, Romanian, version of Kim Kardashian, no? This is Mandinga’s Jam. She even goes with the whole Red One-stylee name drop at the beginning. I feel ya, sista.

Contagious rating: 4/5

Will make it to the finals.

 

Russia

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The Russian grannies have already made international headlines, and it’s not hard to see why at all. They are brilliant. If they don’t make it to the top five, then Europe has truly lost its sense of humour. Never have I seen so much co-ordinated enthusiasm from a group of over sixties. They even worked the crowd for a little bit in the middle there. Born entertainers, I tell you!

Contagious rating: 5/5

Big entertainment value favourites for me – I might even pick up the phone to vote for them. From a landline, of course.

 

Image credit: Eurovision 2012 Baku