Eurovision 2014: crystal-gazing for Copenhagen

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Hello, Europe! It’s Camilla calling. Here are the House of Apcar pre-semi-final predictions for Eurovision 2014…good luck!


How I want the top five to look…

  1. France
  2. Sweden
  3. Poland
  4. Latvia
  5. Malta

Possibly in that order. But ask me again in half an hour and I guarantee I’ll have changed my mind about numbers 2-5.

Where the UK will place…at an optimistic 13th. We’ve had far, far worse acts, but without a good placing in the final show Molly risks being drowned out by one of the catchier, more vibrant acts.

UPDATE 6/5/2014: Molly will be performing in the second half of the final – as the last 5 winners have done. Things are looking up!

Who I think will actually end up in the top five (and I look forward to being proven wrong)…

  1. Austria
  2. Ukraine
  3. Sweden
  4. Armenia
  5. Azerbaijan

My desperation to say France will end up in the top five is larger than Ron Swanson’s own brush, but the live version of Moustache is completely hit and miss (mostly the latter). These five acts, however, sound almost as good live as in their studio recordings.

This year’s biggest names are…Polish YouTube stars Donatan and Cleo (below), 2010’s Romanian Eurovision duo Paula and Ovi, multi-platinum Italian Emma, and ex-XFactor lady Ruth Lorenzo, now representing Spain.

The bookies are tipping…Armenia to win at the moment, followed by Sweden and Denmark in what I hope is only hosting default and the Bruno Mars factor. France are currently around 80/1 to win at best.

I’m rooting for…folk and country offerings from Norway, the Netherlands and Malta.

Watch out for…Polish socio-cultural commentary by way of a rap number that has had over 40 million YouTube hits, and ignore whatever snarky commentators have to say about it. Read the lyrics. Also brace for when the beat unexpectedly drops in that Armenian favourite.

Against my better judgement…I am obsessed with Latvian band Aarzemnieki (below), who have a fantastic sense of humour. Need proof? Check out my interview with them.

In the good looks department…beauties from Azerbaijan and the Ukraine, plus the most photogenic Dutch duo currently gracing this earth.

Bust a move to…Portugal, FYR Macedonia, and Greece. I dare you not to at least be tapping your foot by the end of Moustache, the French entry (below).

The best of the ballads…Sweden with a chorus that defies all, a loaded Shirley Bassey-worthy number from Austria, and something a little more relaxed by Norway’s Carl Espen.

I’m interested to see…the French and Austrian stage productions, following their stellar music videos, and how many special effects Sweden’s Sanna Nielsen is awarded by virtue of neighbourly Scandinavian favour. Not to mention viewer reactions to that Polish YouTube phenomenon.

Credits: DR, Facebook